I was having a creative crisis last summer after my father died. He was a huge proponent of my work--ridiculously supportive. Always wanted me to live off my art. "Just sell a few of your paintings -- YOU'LL BE RICH!" I know he at least half-meant it. It was what he'd probably wanted for himself, too. He was an artist, scientist, author, occultist, and world human who worked a full-time job, helped support his family and wanted to maintain his creative pursuits despite very little free time. I am in the same situation - I have the full-time job and the job of family. So this is my existential question:
Q: Wouldn't I be happier if I could just go to work, come home and do all the shite I have to do every day, then be satisfied to sit on the couch and watch TV every night till I pass out? It sounds relaxing to not always be thinking about how I don't have the time or energy to do all the creative things I want to do.*
[*I realize this is a thought that someone who doesn't have any real problems has.]
Here we are, a year later. I externalized my question in a painting. Still not 100% certain what the answer to the question is, but I am pretty sure that maintaining a creative life in any form will bring me closer to an answer.
I think a bit of my Dad may be held inside it. Took exactly a year to complete: